just another random thought
so here I am with nothing to do and thinking of nothing... actually there is something...and here it goes....I remember the surprise party we gave to our dearest APRIL last April 4, 2010...... well... that was fun..
her family was in a resort then we just came in with all the food without her knowing we would come....
she was sleeping in the cottage when we gone sneaky, very sneaky to place the banners, balloons, cake, pizza and all the other stuff.... then.... a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! we woke her up... ahhahaha
fun times....
now the random thought of mine comes here.... what does it feel to be surprised?? it never even happened to me, that I get to experience something like this... well it's all because I am the one who always do these things for others... I have great imagination on surprises you know.
I don't really want payback... just wanting to feel how it feels like.... how it feels when people would do such great effort for you.... hmmmmm.....
does it feel happy? sad? annoying? or I don't know...
well I don't think it would happen to me anyway... cause if I won't do the effort, who will do it? no one... because I think I have this unique thing in me to always put a lot of effort even if the concern is not my self... in short... self sacrifice... 
I'm not discriminating others here, just I don't think there's someone out there I know who could do such sacrifice for me... I mean... who am I that they would do such effort on right? (just a view....no bad intentions)
this thought also makes me think that, if my 18th birthday would push through, I'd still be the one who will plan out for it..and workout to make it good.....
 always me...if that happens.. then huhuhuh... no thrill at all because I myself would know what would happen right.... amf... 
but whatever... I still want an 18th birthday....hahahahah
again....
I don't want payback.. just imagining what would it really feel like... and It's just so sad to think that it has 5% possibility of happening...I just hope not...
It will happen.... in mother earth's time...hahahahah
see... just a random thought... no point at all.... this just came up because I'm scared that what I was thinking about my 18th birthday would be right... oh good Lord, I hope not...even just on that event that someone would do something special for me,....then I'd be happy...... =)