[Post DEBUT Blues]

so yeah, it's exactly one week after my 18th Debut Party, it's Good Friday and everyone in this house is sleeping.... again......... so I think it's a good time to reflect for a bit..
For the past few days right after my Debut, I've always been thinking of that night where I celebrated my Birthday in my very own customized WONDERLAND.. there were lot's of random things that went to my mind.... ant that's what I call "Post Debut Blues"..... Well that night was FUN actually, I just had certain frustrations after that night however.... those parts where I found out that my BROTHER took only few photos..... GREAT! but it went away after some time.... kekeke~.... my friends took good photos which took away all these frustrations....
I am so thankful that I celebrated that night with my friends... considering that I've been dreaming of that day that I could finally celebrate my birthday with those BUNCH-FULL friends of mine,.....
and because of that night I felt very LOVED..... LOVED by my friends, my family and everyone that surrounded me.... those messages from them were not just scripted words but rather were they heartfelt messages that proved to me for the first time that I AM MAKING A MARK on each and everyone's life.... who would ever imagine all those mood swings of mine just to get the whole CHAY REPUBLIC to cooperate everytime we have gatherings could be appreciated.... all those angry faces that I throw at them everytime they refuse to say "yes" would be thanked....when all the while I thought I'm just annoying them.... well I guess I'm missing it.... missing the part where I have to look back and say "Hey, I am doing my job"...
and who would ever thought that all these senseless talks I make with my younger friends would ever make sense to them,,,,.... yes, in my mind I'm just making fun of everything that I tell them,... but I never knew I was already giving them ADVICES.... hahaahh funny me...
and all these pressure I give to the BABIES everytime we have performances, who would ever think that they would love me for it.... ahhh me... I always think inside that small iron box..... kekeke~....
...That night... I failed to thank everyone that need to be thanked.... I was kinda out of my head that time I was standing in front of everbody giving my last message.... all I kept saying was.... THANK YOU for being here and THANK YOU again.... seeeeeee.... I'm stupid....
... so here is me real THANK YOUs...... these people might not able to read this but at least I let it out....
I thank God firstly... for giving me such great friends who are always ready to help me out..... I thank him for giving me CHAY, BABY BOOM, QUEST, 4-BEES, SS, and all the college friends that I have,,... who would ever know that these group of kids some 10 years before who constantly plays Chinese Garters outside of the church doors every afternoon would be the same group of kids who grew up to become CHAY REPUBLIC in the present times.... I just love the thought of seeing little us at the back of my mind jumping up and down back in our elementary years still clueless of whats gonna happen in our future lives stay closely intact together for 10 straight years and counting.....
I thank God as well for giving me Baby Boom who would be ready to sacrifice their sleep to organize a program where I never imagined doing all by my self.... It's always good to know that your not the only one who is willing to stay up until morning jut to make a mini movie for a friend...and it feels so great to know that they are willing to do it for you as well.....
I thank God for giving me those "Boy" friends that would have everything to tell you in the form of a good song..... all those dedicated song would never be forgotten..... I just wish they really mean those songs for me.... because I'm loving it.... "Just The Way You Are"... I swear I have to buy an ipod or just a CHEAP mp3 player to save all 15 songs in it.... kekeke~
I also thank God for giving me B-boy.... my ever loving and patient best friend..... he's always been the my sponge.... and luckily.... everytime he absorbs my problems.... he squeezes back solutions to them.... ahahaha..... oh those 10 years of friendship..... I'm very lucky to have him..... and this I say.... if TINKERBELL has her TERENCE.... I have my B-BOY.... (DON'T OVER REACT!!!!) kekeke~......
and lastly.... I thank God for my PARENTS.... they provide me with everything..... even though I'm such a pain in the neck to them..... ALWAYS.... ahahahha.....

and to wrap it all up..... now that I'm 18.... think I should give spare time for my self already... it's not all about others.... I should have time for my self.... to enjoy... sleep... laugh and love....]

"When you close your eyes, I'm by your SIDE" -----> you better mean this... kekeke~... I LOVE.

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