I feel so depressed right now........
just some 4-5 hours ago..... sumthing really unbelievable happened to me....
grrr..... honestly, I don;t know how to explain it.....
pffft... so here it goes...... we just had theater class earlier,... and we were to propose a theater concept....................................................................................................... and I lost..... like HELL no!....
I don't know, I just can't believe it.... my concept was sumthing like a fusion of a teen flick plus a psycho drama of some sort..... and it's kinda about an art school where murders happened and etc etc.... don't wanna explain to you everything... it's too long....
so it's this concept versus a more like heavy drama of incest and religion and family..........
I really just don't know how to explain myself right now.... but one thing is for sure.... I'm not happy with it....
I just find this other concept not really interesting.........
so what really makes me so disappointed here is not totally about the pitch that we just lost.....
kinda I feel bad about the teacher or something...... it's obvious that she's not for our pitch.... that's no doubt.....
I mean, the first proposal last week, it was too obvious that we won from the voting system, but she made us do a pitch ones again...... I let that pass, she might wanna narrow down the choices for all of us since there are a lot of us in the class.....
but then just this day, I feel like my impression of her as a biased teacher seems to be confirmed.....
I mean I don't know, there's this classmate of ours that she seem to be praising a lot (but I don't hate this person.... all my respects...) that person is one of the members of the group of the other pitch.....
[this could be true, or this could be not... but that's how things tell me it is...... or maybe she was against me??? I hope not]
well in my perspective, she was sugar coating their pitch...... well it may be just me.... or I don;t know......
and also, she gave the other group A+ and ours A-..... like seriously.?!?!?.... I think our pitch is more prepared than theirs.......
also, there were lot's of loopholes in their story, and she said it's presented clearly.... I totally don't think so.......
I admit I did not comment on these loopholes since either I was kind of at ease about our pitch since it's obviously better... or I was to respectful of the presenter that I don't wanna negate them..... I become violent and annoying in times like these... don't wanna start a fight or even drag them to backstab me for acting like an annoying bitch.......
well I had those things in my mind.....
honestly, I won't be like this if the other pitch is obviously better than mine....[I know how to appreciate better outputs].... but then, I don't think it is...... and I know for myself that our pitch delivery was not for an A-....... it makes me doubt my ability to present things clearly.....
and also I really wanna out do the other section for this play [their concept is total deabak!]........ and I doubt this one will be able to do so..... slim chances.....
and I worry about the marketing of tickets...... would people want to spend money on tickets to watch this?.... I won't....... well I guess it's just me.....
I really can't say many things right now... since I might hurt people around.......
well... I think I'll just have to accept it.....
think God wanted this to happen to take off some weight over my shoulder...... Thank You Lord.....
however I don't think I could be a great help to them in the production process... I mean, they can't get my head working over a thing I'm not interested about...[though I promise I'll try]..... I'm so worried that I wanna redo the scenes of this play.... but my mind seems to block it..... I don't know how......
if there is something I can contribute right now.... I think it would be prayers...... I pray ko nlng ni...... maybe then we can be able to execute this perfectly and outdo the other (amazing)section....
I seem to be blabing out words here..... but then, I just want to release this bad feeling in me.... but I wanna keep it quiet....
pffft.... I feel really cheated........