so first, I wanna say thank you to my teacher Mis Charie for that striking, almost-made-me-think-hard question she threw at me yesterday that I really didn't have the chance to elaborate...... well I was taken aback by that one.... and I didn't have time to think for myself what was the right thing to say...... or think what really is my answer to that question....

so her Question was.... "What is your Goal".......
Me: goal miss? as a MassComm student?
Her: No, your goal in life.
Me: to reach my dreams?
Her: and what is your dream
Me: [thinking so hard what to say, so I just answered with my imposible yest so cliche' dream] Become a Successful Performer......?

well..... I think if I had more time to think I could have said something even more that a performer.....
now thinking back again..... what is my goal in life really?

I wanna rephrase that question though, to "Why did God wanted me to live?"

well of course with that question I knew what the answer is.... I knew it long before I was even asked by my teacher yesterday.....

God made me live because I'm here to live my dreams, be blessed by Him and pay Him back by paying it forward to those people who deserve to be helped and be blessed by God through me......

yeah living my dreams is a big part of it...because I wanna believe that I can only help others if I can help myself... so I picture it out this way......
maybe sometime in my life, I'd be able to reach my dreams, well what ever that is, since I have lots of them [be a director, for film/shows/events/music videos; be a performer; own my business; or just simply be the Med Rep I see myself to be], of course gain money... like lots of it..... be the kid that can give my parents the life they deserve after providing me with almost everything, and pay it forward by helping those in need..... AND of course do this all in the right way possible.....

now how so I define "in need".... it's given that those poor people by the streets are included there.... well not all of them.... I look before I help.... I help people who don't seem to give help to themselves.... like those you can see outside the church in broken wheel chairs, and something like that....I believe they deserve me.... [but don't get me wrong] I never give money... I give food.....

so yeah, it's like that...... probably, if have more money in the future, I can help in a bigger scale, and not just simply giving one pack of biscuit to that mother and her cripple daughter outside the church....

soon, I wanna see this world heal... become the world God designed it to be....... and I wanna be a part of it..... even if I'm just a small dot that would make up the whole picture....

so yeah... maybe that's my goal in life..... of course my first answer was not a lie.... that was true..... well only a part of the whole truth......
there's just this big explanation with it that I failed to get through....

right before we were dismissed, she told us to hold on to our goals and remember them... for she asked us to read this book......